I'm Beginning to See the Light

It's been almost three weeks since Luke was born and I feel like I'm just emerging from the haze. I have adjusted to the lack of sleep and even though we haven't achieved "latch-on", yet, we're still working on it. It's ok, even if we never make it. The baby blues have gotten much better, so maybe the hormones have started to normalize a little bit. The stress of making sure the baby was ok has lessened and I am starting to have the confidence to enjoy being a mom. I know that sounds weird, but the worry was sort of getting in the way of just enjoying the experience.

We took a trip to the pediatrician on Monday because Luke's eye was weeping, and not in a normal way. He has a blocked tear duct, so I have to rub the corner of his eye a few times a day and give him some eye drops. They seem to be working. The really good news is that he gained a whole pound in about 10 days. That means he is up to almost nine pounds, which really helped to ease my worries about whether he was getting enough to eat, etc..

I am ready to loose this weight. I know I'm not supposed to exercise until 6 weeks post-pardum, but I think I may start this weekend. nothing too crazy, just walking and maybe a little easy jogging. I have lost about 20 and still have another 20 or so to go.

My Aunt Joyce sent a really wonderful quilt that she made by hand. It has cats all over it, which is perfect for us. We took a picture of Luke on it and turned it into a Thank You card. I also received the kind gift of a cute onesie from the lovely JJ!

Here is the quilt......

One Week

Well, Luke has been home one week and we have managed to survive. It's amazing how quickly you adapt to waking up every 21/2 - 3 hours and a lack of sleep. He seems to be growing. He already looks different than the pictures we took at the hospital.

The baby blues hit pretty hard. I had a couple of major meltdowns, mostly due to exhaustion, I'm sure. Also, being trapped at the house and unable to drive still makes it worse. M has been a big help and has taken a lot of time off from work. We are still working on the baby's room so the house is a disaster. I know that has something to do with it, too. Progress is being made, though, and M is working really hard despite being tired, as well. I can drive after Monday, so that will help so much. We can go on walks and get into more of a normal routine. Since I was on bedrest for 3 weeks before he arrived, I think I've hit my limit. Friends have been by and I have gotten out a few times, but it's hard right now. I've lost about 20 pounds, though, so that's good!

Breastfeeding is going ok. Thank you so much for all of the encouragement and advice. I am still using the shield, but am trying to get Luke to latch on without it every time. I know it will get better, but it has been hard. I am going to have to start pumping in preparation for our road trip and going back to work, so who knows what will happen then. I won't give up, but I have decided to forgive myself if things don't go just the way I want them to. The important thing is that Luke is ok. We have our 2 week pediatrician appointment a week from today, so I guess we'll find out if he's gained enough weight and is getting enough to eat.

Overall, motherhood has been a whirl of really strong emotions, so far. I don't think anything could have prepared me for the feelings that wash over me on a daily basis. It terrifying and amazing.

Here is a picture of M with Luke. He grew a beard and wanted to re-create the Paul M.cCartney album cover at the top.