Monday, December 29, 2008
Christmas was good. M's mom made it in from Chicago without being stuck in the mess of the winter storms and it was nice having two grandmothers there. My brother seems to be doing ok and he was really great with Luke. He even tried to start guitar lessons.
In baby news, the NT scan went well. Everything looks good, although the baby was moving around a lot and we had to wait a little bit for the measurements. They gave us a preliminary guess about the gender, but we'll have to wait until January 22nd to know for sure. I was just relieved that everything looked good.
Something sort of odd happened this morning. I haven't needed the Zofran lately (thank goodness) but when I got up I got sick right away. I drank some water and as I was making Luke's bottles for the day, I started feeling like I was going to pass out. I have never fainted in my life, so when everything started going dark around the edges I got really scared. I lay down on the couch and then had to get up and run to the bathroom where threw up the water I just sipped. I did take some meds and feel much better now. Has anything like that ever happened to you? I know that pregnant people sometimes faint, but usually it's from getting up to fast, isn't it? Could I have a blood sugar issue? Any thoughts are appreciated.
Other that that random occurrence, things are really good. I have an old hymn running through my head this morning - "It is Well With My Soul". I hope that everyone finds some peace in their souls in 2009.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
If you came into my house and looked through my cabinets you would be confused.
Are you 33 or 85? Well, lately, I have felt 85. My digestive system has come to a complete stand still. Complete. I don't want to get into too many details, but never let it be said that I was too embarrassed to ask the 16 year old "manager" at Walgreens to open up the locked display of stool softeners and laxatives. (Seriously, why is it locked? Do these things tend to walk off? Are they trying to cut down on the number of ex-lax pranks?) I would much rather be having a glass of wine, but prune juice does look like a nice red when you pour it into a wine glass.
Other than that, things seem to be progressing well. I have my NT scan tomorrow and I am looking forward to seeing the baby again. I am a little nervous and hoping that everything is ok. Luckily, the coming insanity of the holidays is keeping me distracted. My MIL will be flying in from the great state of Illinois on Monday and we will travel to my parents house near Austin to celebrate the holiday. It will be a little different this year. The pending divorce of my brother will be on everyone's mind, I think, but hopefully Luke will be able to cheer everyone.
We didn't go too crazy with presents this year. Texas has not felt the crunch that other states have, but we are trying to be really careful, anyway. I had a minor panic attack when I thought about paying two daycare tuitions, but with the need for a new house, we still need the small amount of income I do bring in after paying for daycare. I know that we are very fortunate, though, which is why we have decided to really try to tighten our belts in case the worse happens.
If you aren't feeling the crunch economically, are you still being careful this year? I was curious about what others are doing in this economy.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
When I picked Luke up and out of his crib on Monday morning he felt hot. So, I dug out the thermometer and, sure enough, he had a fever. Not just any fever, his first fever. Combined with a cough that seemed to be getting worse, we took him to Dr. I for a little visit. Of course, there was only one Doctor there with a room full of walk-ins, but Luke did pretty well. Three hours later, we had a diagnosis of the very beginning of an ear infection and a scrip for some mild antibiotics. M stayed home with Luke since he has much more sick leave than I do and sent updates to my e-mail. Here he is, passed out on the floor after playing.
He was back at daycare today and very glad to see all of his friends, I'm sure. Everyone survived the first sickness. Only being sick once in nine months is pretty good for a baby. Hopefully, we can keep him healthy - at least until Christmas.
Last night we had the rare opportunity to see snow falling in our back yard. You may be confused because if you look to the right you will see that I am in Houston. Well, it snowed in Houston. It was nice to play Christmas music and actually see snow falling. Of course, M had to take some photos of our deck.....
...and there was just enough to make a little snowman.
Life is good. Luke is better, it snowed in Houston, and Zofran if allowing me to live a normal life again - puke free. What more could I ask for??
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Thanksgiving was a success. All of the food came out well and no one was poisoned. I did , however, manage to burn and cut the same finger. Injuries aside, everyone had fun and it was a really nice day. I'm not really feeling better so I'm going to ask for meds on Friday. I hate to do it, but I need some relief, you know?
When I was a teacher I heard this phrase at least once a day:
"You'll understand when you have kids."
It drove me nuts. I was usually complaining about a parents overreaction (in my opinion) to something and wished that everyone would just relax. I remembered this when I came home a few weeks ago and M said, "I wish you had been there because I never know how to react to these things." Luke's hand had a perfect set of teeth marks on it. According to the incident sheet, Luke grabbed a toy from another child and wouldn't let go, so he bit him. They said that Luke likes to play with the older (1 year old) boys. These boys have more than two teeth. I really didn't think it was that big of a deal, which surprised me. I always thought I was more of the freak out parent, but I actually chuckled. He was fine, the kids can't talk, the teacher felt terrible and the mom even stayed to apologize to M.
Yesterday, I got a call from daycare telling me that Luke fell and bumped his head. "It's a pretty big lump - maybe you should come and look at it." Being obsessive, first-time parents, M and I both went (we work very close to daycare) and it was a pretty big lump with a little scratch. He was standing on the other side of the exer-saucer and fell and bumped his head on the room divider. He has much more strength than coordination these days, so I wasn't surprised. It was the afternoon and he was so happy to see us that we took him home and played with him for the rest of the day for "observation".
The thing is, I don't worry about him bumping his head as much as I worry about the future. Maybe I should be more worried about direct physical threats, but, as hard as I try, I can't obsess about every little thing. I worry about the bigger issues. Will he be happy? Will I be able to keep him from a diet of 100% junk food? The minor head bumps seem small in comparison to the general life issues that worry me. Of course, these are the things that I really can't control.
I guess I feel that as long as we are a family unit, we can deal with any bumps and bruises that come along. I know that is incredibly naive, but I am ok with it. It helps me sleep at night.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I feel a little numb about all of this. As we were waiting for Dr. Fast to see us, I overheard a woman talking to the receptionist about her bill. She was trying to sort out a payment that included a cancelled IUI and other unpleasantness. I heard all of this and felt grateful because we were probably the luckiest people in the waiting room, but a big part of me feels overwhelmed. Not ungrateful, just a little bit unready for what lies ahead. This train is bound for glory, as the spiritual goes, so there's no stopping it now.
Because of the shuttle mission, we will be staying in town this year. That means everyone is coming to our very tiny house for Thanksgiving. M's niece is coming in from Tulane and my parents and brother are driving in from Austin. I have never in my life baked a turkey. I know it's not that hard, and I am a decent cook, but I am still a little afraid of poisoning everyone. I may not even feel like eating my own cooking, though, so I might be the only well one left if poisoning occurs. We'll just call it a safety precaution.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I want to bring to everyone's attention a project that I think is very worth while. As many of you know, Matt has been the recipient of much kindness from
A Bad Mommy tagged me for this meme:
1. Real Moms don’t flinch when they talk about boobs. They do make you laugh your brains out.
2. Real moms go on vacation. Real moms go on vacation and learn to play traffic cop.
3. Real moms brag about their kids
3. Real moms do not mince words when they present the truth.
4. Real moms juggle
5. Real moms “resist the guilt and embrace the journey”
6. Real moms don’t give a damn to media generated Mommy Wars
7. Real moms have kids with potty mouths.
8. Real moms need a break sometimes.
Thank you for all of the support and suggestions. It really helps to remember that I am a part of a larger community. Oh, and this smiling face helps, too.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Everything looked good today at the RE. I am measuring right on target at 7 weeks and we measured a heartbeat of 132. I left with a bag full of fancy new prenatal vitamins and a much greater sense of confidence in this pregnancy. I have to say that the NP I have been seeing is wonderful and I really appreciate the extra time she takes to answer my questions. So, we look towards a due date of 6/24/09.
The morning sickness is still pretty bad. I am nauseous most of the day, except for about 30 minutes after I eat. I am going to take B6 to see if that helps. Has anyone out there tried that? Any other suggestions are very welcome.
In other news, North Carolina was wonderful. I have never been to that part of the country and was amazed at the beauty. We were in the Lake Lure area. Fall was in full swing and the cool temps were a welcome change.
We stayed at a place that was sort of a compound with several houses you could rent.
Our cabin was so cute and had a little fireplace. It also had a TV so that I could see my Red Raiders beat UT. ::awesomesauce::
Teal was a beautiful bride!
M worked really hard to take some wonderful photos. The river photos will be amazing and totally worth the trouble of getting out to the rocks.
It was really nice to get away. We missed Luke terribly, but he was fine with my parents. He was really clingy yesterday, as if he didn't notice we were gone until we got back. He was back to his normal self today, though. It feels good to be together again.
I will post the u/s picture as soon as I scan it and I'll do the meme that A Bad Mommy tagged me to do.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tomorrow M and I are leaving for a wedding. Actually, it's two friends marrying each other. I take full credit for the set-up, by the way. It will be really lovely, but we are leaving Luke at home. My parents are driving in from Austin and will be taking care of Luke for the weekend. I know that he will be fine, but this is going to be so hard. I've never left him for more than a few hours and it is KILLING me already. This is probably good for us, though, and a little extra sleep in te morning will be very welcome.
Even so, it will be hard to leave this face behind:
Please go over and offer Teal congratulations and blessings for a long and happy marriage! I love it when two wonderful people get married. It makes things seem right in the world.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
After calling several times for my results I realized why it was so frustrating. At the RE's office, every pregnancy is a miracle. At the regular OBs office, you're just another woman who's knocked up. When I finally got a nurse on the phone I found out that my beta was good (1900) but my progesterone was really, really low (8.9). I don't know if anyone has ever taken progesterone troches, but they dissolve in your mouth and it's not fun. Three times a day I would have to have this square piece of peppermint flavored yuck between my cheek and gums. Then the spotting started, anyway. I called my OB begging for suppositories and she said that I needed to go back to the RE.
This morning I went to Dr. Fast's office. I have to admit that I am more comfortable there. The quiet waiting room and the attention you get is a nice change from the OB's office. (I really do love my OB, though) I was questioned, more blood was taken, and then I had a date with my old friend the dildo cam. I kept telling myself that whatever happened, it would be ok. We weren't even planning this. There is something in there, for sure, but it may be too early to see a heartbeat. The Dr. showed me a flicker that looked like a heart was trying to start, but he insisted that given my late ovulation date, it was too early.
I feel numb. I am in shock. Luke is 8 months old. This was supposed to be hard for us, and now that it has happened without conscientiously planning it, I am very cautious. I don't think I'll be able to really acknowldege this until I see a steady, measurable heart beat. Am I one of those urban legends of pregnancy? I don't know, but I am scared and definitely freaked out.
I am keeping this on the DL for right now, as you can probably understand. If you know me in "real life" or on facebook, please keep in mind that I really don't plan on telling my family or in-person friends for quite a while.
Thanks for listening.
Monday, October 20, 2008
We had to get a baby gate. Luke's crawling and determination to escape have gotten to be too much, so he is now trapped in his room. Don't feel too badly, though, his room is pretty cool. Already he is pulling himself up on the gate and I can just tell that his little mind is trying to figure out how to get that thing open.
This kind of change seems gradual to me. Luke grows every day, I know, but I don't always see it. My parents marvel at how much he changes from one visit to the next, but I only see it if I look back at old photos. When you are in the midst of change it is sometimes hard to see how quickly it is happening.
We like to take walks through our local park. In my continuing effort to become a somewhat decent photographer, I always bring my camera. My goal is to change the way I see the world. Good photographers take a scene that looks boring or mundane and make it worth examining. Places I used to walk by without a glance get a little more consideration.
I like my new found identity as a more visual person. For so long I was a musician only. I heard and that was all I needed to do. Now that I am seeing a little more of what's around me, I don't get the sense that life is passing me by as much as I used to. That is the kind of examination I hope I can give my child. With children, change may just be subtle, yet constant shifting of what is normal. I want to try to notice it more than I do now. Laundry can wait. Dishes can wait. Luke won't wait. He changes every day and I hope I remember to notice that and appreciate it a little more.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
First, I was given an award! I never get these little bloggy awards, and I was so happy when Cheryl listed me!
The Oops Award was created and is to be given to bloggers who inspire others with their humor and their talents, also for contributing to the blogging world in whatever medium. When you receive this award it is considered a special honor. Once you have received this award, you are to pass it on to others.
The rules for passing this honor on:
1) Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to. (I picked 6 because they were just that good!)
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Oops” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
So, here are my award winners!
From the Mixed-Up Files of the Siegels
One Tantrum Away From a Breakdown
Fertile Myrtle My Ass
A Bad Mommy's Blog
Ok, go and check out these blogs!
I was also tagged in a meme by A Bad Mommy:
1. How long have you been a Mom? 8 Months
2. How many children call you Mommy? 1
3. Girl? Boy? or both?: Boy
4. Did you know what you were having? Oh, yes. No surprises, thanks.
5. How old were you when you became a Mom? 32
6. How long were you in labor? Scheduled C-Section - Luke was breach
7. What’s your favorite thing about being a Mom? Just being with Luke and M as a family.
8. What’s your least favorite thing? Feeling like I have too much to do and not enough time.
9. Do you want more kids? Yes
10. Do you plan on having more soon? Yeah, I don't "plan" when it comes to getting pregnant. I take what I can get!
11. How many times have you been pee’d on? More time than I care to count.
12. Barfed on? Oh, yes.
13. Is your child named after anyone? Not really.
14. How did you come up with their name? In church on Christmas eve.
15. When your child gets in trouble, who is the bad guy? Both of us. Poor kid.
16. What is the longest you have been away from your children? A few hours.
17. Bedtime routine? Bath, naked time, PJs, milk, sleep
18. Are your toes painted? Yeah, right.
19. Last movie you saw in the theater? I have NO idea.
20. One thing you will not give up just because you’re a mom? Grad school.
21. One thing you did give up now that you’re a mom: Happy hours every Friday.
22. Best Mom perk: All of it. I wasn't sure if I would get to be a mom, so I try to appreciate everything.
23. Snack, you sneak bites from your child? Not really into mushy food.
24. When the kid is napping, you are: Cleaning/facebook/reading/TV
25. Where is your child(ren) now? Daycare
26. Favorite place to buy maternity clothes? Old Navy
27. If I could do it over…I would have appreciated my time at home more.
28. Did it turn out the way you expected? Yes and no. I think that, overall, it's been everything I thought with some extra stress and extra wonderfulness thrown in.
Have any thoughts? Answer these questions on your blog!
Lastly, I have a confession: I stalk my own site meter. I love it. I love looking to see where my readers are and where they come from. The best part is looking at the google searches. Here are some I have gotten recently:
Muslim baby turns 40 days (when the hell did I talk about that?)
Red Sox Haircut
Holger Danske T-Shirt
I can't help you with the t-shirt, but here is Holger waiting patiently for someone to attack the Danes.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I'm not a sunshiny, precious moments type of person (not that there is anything wrong with precious moments, although their big eyes kind of freak me out). My sense of humor could probably be described as a bit sarcastic. The older I get (or feel) the more I have come to appreciate the power of positive thinking. I know that sounds trite, but stay with me. During the whole ttc journey, I had moments of positivity and moments that I thought the world was going to end. I realized that in those positive moments I really did feel ok. Now, with my brother's divorce weighing heavily on my mind, I am trying to harness some of that positive feeling and energy. I realized when I spoke with my brother last week that he was doing the same thing. He was looking ahead to a day when everything wouldn't hurt so much and life would seem normal again. I have decided to try and adapt that kind of thinking into my everyday life. All too often I miss the good things because I am too caught up in the frustrations of traffic, school and daily minutia. One of my favorite books talks about this very idea. It may not be particularly sincere at first, but once you allow it to enter into your being, it becomes a part of you. In short, fake it 'til you make it. I feel like the craziness of life has distracted me from seeing the good that surrounds me. I have a lot to be thankful for. So, I'm going to try this out. Even if my only positive is my nightly glass of wine, I'll make it a point to really enjoy it. I have a feeling that I will find more than just wine, though.
Some other positive things I have noticed, lately.....
I'm sure you remember that I mentioned the Liz Goodman Logelin 5K and the donations (you can still donate at Matt's blog). Well, Matt had a nice post about how some of that money helped someone who needed it. Go here to read about it.
JJ, who has helped bring together many of the IF bloggers, has just found out that she and Mook will be joining Team Blue! Please go and congratulate her if you haven't already.
Lastly, Teal told me about this site. I can't believe I never came across it, but please go and visit. I hope you can add your own story.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Your communities need you and your gifts, but I also think there is value in helping those that are far away. We're all in this together, even if we aren't really together. I feel very indebted to the blogging community. When I needed I little bit of understanding, they were there, and "there" was all over the world. Now that things have evened out a bit, I try to reach out and give as much as a can the way that others gave to me. If you are looking for a way to do that, as well, here are a few ideas:
Liz Goodman Logelin Memorial 5K Fund
The first annual LGL5K was held a few weeks ago and if you want to see the photos, go here. The money raised is going to help young widows/widowers. If you have never gone over and visited Matt's blog, please do. You can donate to the fund by clicking on the PayPal button on the upper right hand side of the page.
U.T.E.R.U.S. (Union To Expedite Relief Until Self Fulfillment) This was started by Mel and some others who use it to help those in need in the infertility community. This round, there are two very worthy causes. They are taking donations or you can donate to an e-bay auction that is also being created. For information, go here.
I think Mel put it into words better than I ever could:
U.T.E.R.U.S. is unique because it's a lot like stone soup. While a carrot and a stalk of celery and a potato all held separately can't make a pot of vegetable soup, when you dump them together, you get something delicious. And while a single person may not have the means to give all the vegetables necessary for soup, a single carrot, stalk of celery, or potato is rarely missed.
The point to this type of giving is not to dig deep into your pockets when you have so many needs yourself. The point is to donate what you won't miss--the books you would have sold at a garage sale, ad space on your blog, points you weren't using. And the magic is that all of these things come together to fulfill someone else's need.
Do what you can, when you can and where you can. There is no gesture too small.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Since by birthday falls on a Tuesday and a class day, I decided to celebrate on Saturday. My parents came to town to visit
(This looks cool, but really I forgot to turn on the flash and couldn't keep the camera still enough with such a slow shutter speed.)
I had my favorite cake - Cheesecake Factory Italian Cream Cake!
Talked with friends
....got a birthday "kiss" from M...
.....ate and drank way too much
...and generally had a great time. It felt really good to go out and have a little fun. I have good friends, a wonderful husband, and, of course, this:
Now, if the Cubs can just stay alive I think my 34th year will get off to a great start!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
It's been an exhausting week. I think that everyone is coming down from the post-Ike insanity and the fatigue is setting in. There are still many people without power and the morning drive is complicated by traffic lights that aren't working. We will survive this, though, and things will eventually get back to normal. For some, there will be a new normal.
We went to Dom's house for our usual Sunday dinner, despite the fact that the house had all of the drywall removed. We ate on the deck with only a few mosquitoes, thanks to the chemicals they have been spraying on everything. It was nice to have a chance to sit and talk. Luke enjoyed it, too.
Earlier in the day, I walked around our neighborhood and looked at some of the trees that came down in the park. Obviously, some of them were rotting on the inside, already.
It is sad to see the trees laying on their sides, but nature is a vengeful bitch. Maybe it's good to be reminded of that every once in a while. I couldn't help but see some beauty in the landscape of the fallen trees. I wanted to get photos before they took it all away.
Lately, I've had the odd feeling that time is slipping away. I realized this morning that Luke is seven months old today. When the hell did that happen? He is about to crawl and has started trying to pull himself up on things. Our house is barely adult proof, much less baby proof. I'll add that to my list of things to panic about later.
In the mean time, the temperature has come down slightly and I detected the faintest chill in the air this morning when I left the house. With cooler weather comes a much happier Kate.
A little announcement:
The Liz Goodman Logelin Memorial 5K Flickr group has over 600 photos!!! Thanks to all of you who took the time to submit them. I am now asking, begging, pleading that you make sure your photo has a location. It can be in the title or the description. All you have to do is change it in your Flickr account and it will automatically change in the group, as well. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.
Also, it's not too late to donate! Go to Matt's blog and click on the paypal button in the upper right hand corner. Thank you!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Although, he did have the redneck set-up going in his front yard
...and the essentials
It's going to be a long recovery process
People have been keeping a sense of humor, though.
I took a break on Sunday to do something that has been a long time in the making. Although the plans were changed quite a bit due to Ike, I met up with my friend Maura and we took a walk.
It wasn't just any walk, it was a walk to remember someone we never met but whose life, and unfortunate death, has touched our lives. It was a walk that gave us time to think about the people that matter to us.
(Yes, I made my son wear a pink hat.)
All of a sudden things didn't seem so bad, after all. Carpet can be replaced. Healing will begin. We will keep helping our friends. We're all in this together. With a nice breeze that cut the heat a little bit, a few words that Matt once wrote popped into my head
it was nice day,
would have loved.
she’s not here
so we loved it for
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The decor is sometimes interesting
Of course, there is always a Big Tex Martini, if you need a break
We walked down Church Street and I showed our fellow evacuees some of the big houses
(This house is haunted.)
We even came across a pomegranate tree
and had a nice walk by the river.
Our friends that stayed with us also had an Italian exchange student with them. She is here all year and is certainly getting the "experience of a lifetime" that the brochures promised. Luke was smitten and if he likes Italian girls when he gets older, we'll know why...
Now we're home and life is starting to be normal again. We have power, which is very lucky. There are still many people who do not. My parents are coming this weekend to help with the clean up at our house and others who need it. I went to the Seabrook Firehouse last night and helped serve dinner to the Firemen/women and police officers. That area is devastated but has not gotten the press that Galveston has. In Texas, many small communities rely on volunteer fire departments, as does Seabrook. When the electricity came back on, the fires started. I also heard calls from people who injured themselves trying to clean their yards and homes. The officers looked really, really tired. On top of that, a lot of them have water in their own homes and have not had a chance to start their own recovery. This is why I am so thankful to people who are willing to help their community.
There are so many things that happen after something like this. Little things that you always took for granted are now more difficult. For instance, there is no meat or eggs in the stores. There is still very little gas in the area and water and ice leave the shelves as quickly as it gets there. The areas that do have power and supplies are stressed because they are now serving those without power, as well. I brought enough groceries with me to avoid the store for at least a week or two. In the end, we're safe and we can help others who need it. There are people who cannot get to their houses and have not been able to see if they have anything left at all. I consider this an opportunity to think about what is really important in life.
Don't Forget! Sunday is the Liz Goodman Logelin 5K! If you would like to donate to the cause, go here. The suggested donation is $7, but anything is appreciated. The money goes to Matt/Madeline and other young widows/widowers who need some help. We also want your pictures from the walk! Please check out the instructions for submitting photos. I have recently been reminded that we are all in this together. This 5K is a great way to remember that. I hope you'll take time to walk or run on Sunday.