Thanksgiving was a success. All of the food came out well and no one was poisoned. I did , however, manage to burn and cut the same finger. Injuries aside, everyone had fun and it was a really nice day. I'm not really feeling better so I'm going to ask for meds on Friday. I hate to do it, but I need some relief, you know?
When I was a teacher I heard this phrase at least once a day:
"You'll understand when you have kids."
It drove me nuts. I was usually complaining about a parents overreaction (in my opinion) to something and wished that everyone would just relax. I remembered this when I came home a few weeks ago and M said, "I wish you had been there because I never know how to react to these things." Luke's hand had a perfect set of teeth marks on it. According to the incident sheet, Luke grabbed a toy from another child and wouldn't let go, so he bit him. They said that Luke likes to play with the older (1 year old) boys. These boys have more than two teeth. I really didn't think it was that big of a deal, which surprised me. I always thought I was more of the freak out parent, but I actually chuckled. He was fine, the kids can't talk, the teacher felt terrible and the mom even stayed to apologize to M.
Yesterday, I got a call from daycare telling me that Luke fell and bumped his head. "It's a pretty big lump - maybe you should come and look at it." Being obsessive, first-time parents, M and I both went (we work very close to daycare) and it was a pretty big lump with a little scratch. He was standing on the other side of the exer-saucer and fell and bumped his head on the room divider. He has much more strength than coordination these days, so I wasn't surprised. It was the afternoon and he was so happy to see us that we took him home and played with him for the rest of the day for "observation".
The thing is, I don't worry about him bumping his head as much as I worry about the future. Maybe I should be more worried about direct physical threats, but, as hard as I try, I can't obsess about every little thing. I worry about the bigger issues. Will he be happy? Will I be able to keep him from a diet of 100% junk food? The minor head bumps seem small in comparison to the general life issues that worry me. Of course, these are the things that I really can't control.
I guess I feel that as long as we are a family unit, we can deal with any bumps and bruises that come along. I know that is incredibly naive, but I am ok with it. It helps me sleep at night.
16 comments:
Actually, that is not naive that is pretty logical. You can't freak out at every bump and scratch--there is just too many of them (literally and figuratively). Eventually, you find the way to know which things are the things to freak out over.
Sounds like you are doing a great job.
There's going to be lots of bumps & bruises (and some bites thrown in for good measure). Its smart not to sweat the small stuff -- I always wonder about the moms who freak out about every minute detail in their kids life...they must take stronger pills than I do. LOL
I don't think it's naive at all! I am the same way. The bumps and bruises are "easy" to deal with. You take them to the doctor, when needed. You put a band aid and some ice. There are simple easy fixes to so many of the bumps and bruises.
The big things keep me awake, too. The endless questions. The endless worrying.
It is so very normal. So exactly what it's all supposed to be. It's hard and scary but you're doing a WONDERFUL job!!
An interesting perspective on "wanting your child to be happy." I read an article that basically discussed the premise of this book (link below) and found it interesting - not something I thought of before.
http://parentingbooks.suite101.com/article.cfm/review_i_just_want_my_kids_to_be_happy
http://parentingbooks.suite101.com/article.cfm/review_i_just_want_my_kids_to_be_happy
Ok try that for the link instead, sorry!
Crap it keeps cutting off the whole link... I'll email you, sorry to be a comment whore...
I ned more friends like you in my real life. THank you for being so wise and sharing it with me!
Your line of thinking is right in line with mine! It is only logical to accept the things that you can not change and have no control over.
I'm actually surprised by how I've been able to not sweat the small stuff (my mom is pretty shocked too). I've always been a little high strung and what with the IF factor I thought for sure I would be freaking out over everything. Well, that job has been left up to my husband which is totally frustrating!
The big issues are what matter though. Those are the things that will test our true parenting skills...and that can be scary!
I think that you're not being naive. I think you're actually just "being a mom" and going with your intuition. Luke is very lucky to have you and M.
I think Luke is quite lucky to have you for a mother. You really are doing an amazing job. :)
I really understand the worries about the future...things like will she be an out of control teenager? So far away...but so scary.
I think your rationale is completely logical. Those parents that flip out over the tiniest scrape or bruise are only sheltering their children to be afraid of EVERYTHING. Kids need to learn what hurts, what doesn't, what they should/shouldn't do, etc. They learn this by doing things and sometimes suffering the consequences. I remember the first time I thought it would be fun to ride down the big hill on my bike w/o using the brakes. Guess what I never did again? :)
And this my dear friend....is what makes you a great mom!! Knowing that you can't protect them from everything so you don't stress it...hope you are feeling better!!!
I'm all with you Kate! It's impossible to worry about every bump and scratch. These little guys are just figuring out how their bodies work, and they ARE going to fall! And it's NOT going to kill them!
I, too, find myself worrying about the future. But it's true, we can't do much about that now, can we?!!
Its not naive at all. Kids bite and fall all the time. Soon it will be scraped knees and head lice (ew). You are doing wondefully.
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