I Will Remember

We are leaving tomorrow for the Chicagoland area to visit M's relatives and to have Luke baptized. We were able to schedule a baptism at the church where M and I were married almost three years ago. I realized the other day that I have been keeping this blog for a year now and I couldn't help but think about how things have changed. Going back to Lemont seems appropriate since that is where the whole idea of having children together started. I remember wondering when we would have kids and how many, but I had no idea where that journey would take me.

Reading back through those early posts is painful. I was so unhappy. I was unhappy with my body and life in general. The support of the blogging community really helped and changed my attitude. I realized, once again, how fortunate I am. Thank you to everyone who left a comment or sent a card. It means a lot to me.

I look at Luke sleeping peacefully and I can hardly look away. It still seems so unreal, having a baby of my own. He doesn't have a worry in the world and his whole life is ahead of him. Right now, though, his entire existence is food, warm blankets, and Mommy and Daddy. I will remember this when he is leaving for his first day of Kindergarten, having a teenage hissy fit or packing his car to drive to college. As he gets older, I won't be able to always be there when he cries or needs a warm blanket. There will come a day when he'll want to be on his own. That's why I must remember this time and soak up every minute of it. It's already going by so quickly.

Already?

Through the haze of sleep deprivation, I realized that I haven't posted in a while. I'm still here and I haven't managed to damage Luke. At least as far as I can tell. The nights have gotten easier. He is going 4 to 5 hours in between feedings and eating more during the day. He is becoming more aware and requires a little more attention during the day, though. I guess it's a trade off.

I've started light exercise - walking, some hand weights, etc.. I'm not officially "cleared" until next week, but since I put away my maternity clothes, my options are very limited. Also, someone asked me when I was going to have the next one. Can you BELIEVE that? Already? I refuse to worry about that until Luke is one. That same person warned me that I could accidentally get pregnant while I'm nursing if I'm not careful. HA! I love that. Sure, I'll be careful. Thanks for the heads up.