It was four weeks ago that we we became a family of four and I feel like I am just emerging from the sleep deprived haze of having a newborn. Luke is staying in daycare while I am on leave, so every day it's just me and Emily. I thought I would get a lot more done than I have, but I was unprepared for the exhaustion of having a newborn all day and a 17 month old in the evenings. M has been great, as usual. He has taken on just as much as I have, aside from the nursing, of course. I'm usually too tired to say it, but I would never be able to do this without him.
I am also noticing a big difference in the treatment of child number two. With Luke, everything was examined, obsessed over and discussed. Now, it's all about whatever works. A little formula? Not a problem. Letting Emily fuss a little because I just can't get to her? She'll be ok. Putting the baby in the car seat to sleep? If it means I get a little more rest, then I'm all for it. People like to say that the second kid always gets jipped, and maybe there is some truth to that. I like to think that it has more to do with a more efficient use of limited resources.
If I was more eloquent I could write about what having two healthy children really means to me, but I'm no writer. Instead, I will just say that I am humbled daily by what we have been given. All of the craziness and all of the exhaustion is worth it. Especially when they are both asleep.
