Wednesday, April 25, 2007

How Many Pieces of Flair?

I've been waking up at 4:30am for the last few nights. I mean I am wide awake. This isn't that unusual for me since I am a very bad sleeper and I always have been. I manage to drift off again just as the alarm goes off, of course. I'm not really worrying about anything in particular. At least, nothing new. This is CD 25 and I know that in three more days I will go through my monthly ritual of feeling down, feeling angry and feeling like I can't do anything right.

I called the RE that my regular OB/GYN works with, Dr. Fast. I call her that because her real name means fast in German and because I hope that it's a sign. The first thing we need to do is get M in for a semen analysis. Calling and getting the information would normally not be a big deal, but I work for a government contractor which means I work in a sea of cubicles and open desks. It's very Office Space or The Matrix, if you prefer. There is no privacy. So, I am forced to either think of clever codewords for semen analysis OR call only at lunch when everyone else on the planet calls their doctor OR force socially awkward engineers to listen to me talk about my cycles and my husband's sperm. You can see my dilemma. I need an emens-ay nalysis-ay for my usband-ay.

I did call during lunch, but the call back came long after I returned to work. Ms. T, the new patient coordinator, understood and started asking me yes or no questions. That was interesting. I managed to find out that I needed to have M's test ordered. Really? Well, then, I ORDER you to give him the friggin' test! How's that? *sigh* M said that he needed a physical anyway, so he agreed to go as soon as possible.

Our plan is to make all appointments for June and take May to give it one more try. Maybe I should just go in now, but I think that M and I both need time to adjust to the idea of needing help. When you have worked hard your whole life to be a healthy person, this kind of thing just takes the wind out of your sails. Also, there is always that little voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me "maybe next month". After all, I am a Cubs fan and fruitless waiting is what we do best.

We are going to my parents house this weekend which is not always the most relaxing environment for me. It's a much needed break from H-town, though, and a brief rest before my accounting final on Monday. Even though I know the answer I'll pee on a stick Friday morning so that I can have some guilt-free wine by the pool while I try not to think about you know what.

That shouldn't be too difficult, right?


Courtney said...

I hope that things work out great for you and that you will not have to step one foot in the RE's office in June.

Hopefully you are fully enjoying your weekend away!

Courtney said...
This comment has been removed by the author.